Listen and Learn

Tonight I was tucking the girls in when Ava mournfully requested that I "sleep with her for a minute." I always dread questions like that. Emily refused to sleep in her own bed for the first three years of life, so I'm always worried about setting up a situation where Ava needs me to fall asleep. When the words "I can't" sprang to my lips, my little girl knew them to be as untrue as I did. Being able and being willing are two very different things and children seem to instinctively know the difference. I amended my statement to "I have to finish cleaning", but even then the words sounded hollow. There will always be laundry to fold, floors to sweep, and dishes to clean, but there won't always be a curly haired three-year-old who falls asleep with all manner of toys stashed in her bed. I stretched out beside Ava and peered through the darkness as she tried to shove something into a tiny Minnie Mouse purse. When I asked what she was putting in her purse, she happily chirped, "A Bible." She then flipped open the baby blue pocket New Testament and inquired, "What does it say?" What a question to propose at bedtime. Mental note to read more with Ava one on one. 

From across the room Emily asked, "Can you come lie down with me now?" I quickly reminded Ava of our Sunday School lesson and made my way to Emily's bed. Blinking heavily, Emily informed me that if Ava went to sleep and didn't keep her awake, she would give Ava a special sticker. When I frowned in confusion, Em further explained the sticker system. The stickers serve as rewards and accumulate on the sides of Emily's dresser.  When Ava behaves, Emily puts a sticker on the side of the dresser that it closest to Ava's side of the room. Once Ava obtains a certain number of stickers, Em will allow her to choose first from the Polly Pocket bucket. As I stared into the earnest brown eyes of my six-year-old, I realized how much is going on in her mind. When I find stickers on the side of a dresser, I pull them off and throw them in the trash, but those stickers MEAN something to my child. In that moment, I felt so very far removed from the world that my kids live in. It never would have occurred to me that Emily had a reason for tackying up her furniture. Even if I didn't consider it a good enough reason to leave the stickers there, the purpose was still behind it, and I never even thought to ask. 

Grown ups tend to forget that kids are people, too. I would probably be fascinated by the constant whirl of thoughts, emotions, and conclusions in my kids heads. I imagine their thoughts as bright swishes of color in a dull world. It's amazing what a few minutes of quiet time allowed me to learn about my kids. I'm resolving to put aside a few minutes at the end of every day for each of my children. There's just something about those quiet, still moments before bedtime that are so special. David has outgrown the cuddly phase, but if someone is willing to sit on the end of his bed, he talks about all kinds of things you'll never hear him mention during the day. Very precious moments that I almost threw away for the sake of sweeping.