Update

My first week as an intern at the Augusta VAMC has come to an end. It's hard to believe that it has only been a week since we arrived and began unpacking boxes. A large part of me feels as though we must have been here years. On Monday morning, I rolled out of bed ten minutes before my alarm sounded. My sleep had been restless due to the nagging fear of getting off to a late start. It ended up being a good thing that I was already awake. When the alarm was due, my phone geared up and promptly vibrated itself off of the night stand, hitting the carpet and lying still before even having time to sound. There is no snooze on my cell, so I have continued to use it...forces me to get up immediately. I readied myself quickly, slipped into my new work outfit, and stole down to the clubhouse for continental breakfast. I walked back to the apartment, left a muffin on the counter for Johnathan, kissed the sleeping small fry, and hoped for a successful day. If I were afraid of being tossed in headfirst, I need not have been. I barely touched an instrument during the entire course of the day and mostly observed from the sidelines. Three hours in, I was introduced to the early stage dementia group that has already won me over. We cheerfully sang around the piano, sipped coffee, and munched on cookies. Blank hours were filled with cleaning, and the afternoon was devoted to "the band." Tuesday was largely spent gathering paperwork, being finger-printed, and obtaining my badge. I had a long lunch with my family, and in the afternoon, I met a man who is guaranteed to challenge all notions of self worth. Upon meeting me, he cut his eyes to Sheri and drawled, "Not to be rude, but is she any good?" In some ways, it only motivates me to surpass his expectations. We finished up with more cleaning, and I wearily collapsed into bed at 10:00...the earliest night I have seen in quite some time. On Wednesday morning I obtained my codes for computer access and played around a bit with some programs. There was more to the day, including an attempted treatment team meeting, but most of it was lost in the wild finish. As the band wrapped up in the clinic, the sky outside turned a menacing shade. Rain began to pour, the room went black, and firedoors slammed shut all over the building. Rain obscured even the closest parked cars from view and the trees were bending at an alarming slant. My old fear of storms began to revive, and I crept unashamedly from the second story office to ground level. After grabbing a cup of coffee to steady myself, I called Johnathan to make sure they were tucked in and safe. I then fell deeper into old habits and nervously called my Mom. After thirty minutes of raging, things had died down enough for me to head home. Trees were down in places along the way and some shingles had blown loose here at Mark's Church. It was well into the evening before I felt sufficiently recovered. Thursday morning was brilliant and sunny, and I narrowly avoided an encounter with Mama Duck on my morning jaunt to the clubhouse. Once at work, I was introduced to the other side of the dementia unit. Yeah. Not so pleasant. This side is for the "behavioral" patients, and I found myself truly afraid of a client for the first time. He started aggressively in his chair and with each movement came closer to leaping out of it in our direction. He growled profanities, screaming "F--- you...all of you" more times than I care to remember and told us in no uncertain terms to go to hell. I didn't mind the language. Inhibitions break down and the mind becomes a slave to a dark, confused realm. Many who fall prey to dementia act and speak in a manner that is foreign to the former self. No. It was the absolute hatred in his eyes that unnerved me. I'm not sure I have ever been face to face with such resentment. It's a look that will remain in my memory for quite some time. The rest of the day was busy, but very pleasant. I laid down with the baby as soon as I got home and slept for at least an hour and a half. It must have been just what I needed because the feeling of exhaustion that had followed me all week slipped away. I woke with renewed energy and began bustling about the apartment. Sheri was off of work today and informed me that I could take the day off as well. Oh, happy day. I slept about an hour later, then cleaned for the first half of the day. Emily and I went walking at the mall, then we all ate dinner out on the patio. Things have been a bit garbled this week. Emily's sleep schedule has been a bit out of joint and David was close to his former tantrum-phase. I had been most worried about Emily's adjustment to Johnathan, and I never expected it to be so difficult for David to readjust. It makes sense when I think about it, though. He's probably angry with me for leaving and given his limited vocabulary, angry retorts are his only expression. I couldn't let him kick and scream at me, but my reprimands only fueled his frustration. It was not a happy ending, but the past two days have been much smoother. In a way, it makes me feel good to know that David needs me more than I had realized. To add to matters, Emily decided to become nocturnal and refused to go to sleep before 11:30 for two nights in a row...thirty minutes after I should have been asleep. She has been fine this evening, though, so I'm hoping things are settling. It's amazing how everyone falls into line when the whole family is together. I watched "You've Got Mail" last night. I had forgotten how great that movie is.

I'm still feeling a bit in-over-my-head, but much more positive than I felt at this time last week. Things will be okay. Somehow. It will take a great deal of work and determination on my end, but I'm capable of that. My perception of veterans has become an interesting development, but more on that later. I will also be posting Fourth of July photos as soon as I have time to upload them. Thanks for the patience during my long absence.