Heavy sigh. I'm afraid I got too into my book. I tend to become enveloped by things that interest me. Needless to say, I'm finding it very interesting. I had to stop reading because I was becoming too emotional. It recalled too many personal memories, and I found myself becoming angry and sad.

I'm not angry now. Just thoughtful. I remember all too well what it's like to be in dazzling sunlight, then experience a sudden, cold darkness. I never understood how someone could switch off emotions like flipping a light switch...how suddenly there's a vast wall...too high to be scaled...too thick to be penetrated. I've stood in front of that wall twice, and it leaves an indescribable void that fades but isn't forgotten. It's virtually impossible to cope with because it's something beyond the realm of understanding.

I flipped my book upside down and promptly wrapped my arms around my husband's neck. Closing my eyes, I was thankful in a way that almost moved me to tears. Despite that, I still felt a void. I think it's because my mind was wandering to the thousands of people across the nation who are plagued with similar situations. People are struggling to hold it together in all corners of the globe. Ten years of happiness vanish in a blink due to drugs. Twenty-five years of commitment stand threatened. I'm sure this gives a much different vibe than I intended. No worries, reader. I'm not abandoning hope or entertaining ideas. It just makes me feel.

The baby is stirring, signaling that my writing should draw to an end. I don't like leaving on such a dark note, however, so I will give a quick update. The moving sale was a bit more successful than we had anticipated. All in all, we raked in somewhere around $60, which wasn't bad for a small, last-minute collection. Half of my kitchen is packed into boxes. David's room is completely ready to go, and ninety-five percent of the livingroom is ready for removal. A chunk of our room has been completed, and I'm steadily working down the laundry pile and sorting it into boxes. I think I'm dreading the closet most of all. So many bulky uncooperative shoes. It's also the storage area for our overwhelming collection of text books. I'm feeling quite accomplished, however, and I'm looking forward to creating a new home. I'd like to turn my patio into an escape. I'm also envisioning a nice sitting area for reading in my bedroom. I'm better at packing and not-so-good at actually carrying objects. Johnathan would rather carry objects than pack them, so I think it will be a nice trade-off. I pack, we load, he hauls, and while he's hauling, I can be unpacking. We're also going to re-work the way we work finances. I'm too scattered. I was shuffling through the bills today going, "July first...that's next week." Then I realized that TODAY is July first. Fortunately, it's not anything we'll be fined for, but still... On the flip side, I'm much better at informing of purchases than Johnathan is. There have been several times that I've had to check the online register for purchases he neglected to tell me about. I think this way will work better, and I'm glad that we can complement each other even through our faults. I do much better when I write things down, so I plan on utilizing my planner again. This new beginning is going to be a time for organization, organization, organization.

I got an "Everyday with Rachael Ray" magazine that's full of bright colors and interesting recipes. It makes me happy, but I can't seem to finish working my way through it. Once again, I've stayed up past my bedtime. I'm very excited about fireworks, parades, and adorable children in patriotic attire. It's going to be a nice holiday.