Happy Birthday, Emily!

It's strange to think that exactly a year ago, I was sitting on my parents couch and counting the minutes between contractions. There was no Emily Claire McGowan until 8:01 pm, but everyone was already anticipating her arrival. I was contentedly watching Legends of the Fall and stalling going to the hospital as long as possible. The hospital was packed with pregnant women on March 3rd, blamed largely on the full moon. They had to create a make-shift room for me in the recovery area, and I remember wishing that I had stayed on the couch with my movie. The woman beside me was Latino and was having difficulty communicating with the staff. She seemed to be in a great deal of discomfort after a C-section, and I continued to resign myself to the inevitable. Mom and Dad popped in quickly to show David where Mommy was, then Johnathan and I began pacing the halls. By the time I was growing uncomfortable, they had a large delivery room ready for me. It had dark wood floors and beautiful walls and lighting. There was furniture and a television to make the setting more home-like. The room would have been super nice if I could have focused on anything but the pain. It was like really bad cramps that lasted longer and longer with each wave. Ross, Alaina, Meghan, Stephen, David, Mom, Dad, and Papa were all crowded in my room for a spell, but were ushered out by my mid-wife. I remember everyone talking, but I was not able to follow the conversation. I remember David wanting to crawl on Mommy, but not being allowed to. Johnathan was needed to massage my back, and I would get highly irritated whenever he stopped. I can still remember the insane pressure...more unbearable pressure than pain. Johnathan still remembers me bruising his finger, and he swears her entry was like a scene out of "Alien." When they placed the tiny little baby in my arms, she looked up with huge, curious eyes. I thought that she was the most beautiful thing in the world...a notion that has continued over the course of the past 365 days.

She is now sleeping beside me with her little head on my leg. I'm sad that she's sick on her first birthday, but the good thing is that she won't remember it. There have been so many changes in the past year. At 18 pounds, she is small but healthy. Her eyes were always rather indescribable despite the fact that her certificate says "blue." They were never a pure blue, but more green and have now turned closer to hazel. She is still quite bald, but her fine hair looks as though it will be blond. There have been so many little milestones. Learning to hold her head up, rolling over, sitting up, crawling, standing, and beginning to walk. She has an infectious smile and two-and-a-half teeth. I have been blessed with a happy, contented baby who brings laughter and joy into every moment. I am continually amazed by the things she does because I missed most of them with David. She is now working on saying "duck", but most things that begin with "D" end up being "Daddy" or "David" ("Da") in the end. My floppy little baby is turning into a little girl with every day that passes. She's meticulous, opinionated, and observes much about the world around her. She loves her shoes and is very aware that they belong on her feet. She tries to feed anyone who will accept food from her hand, and she holds the phone up to her ear. Last night she grabbed a tissue from the box and wiped her nose, but I'm not convinced that wasn't just luck. Life keeps rolling, and we'll cross our fingers for a better week. I'm biding my time until she can dig into her piece of birthday cake with some enthusiasm.