La la la bllllaaah

I'm tired. Emily always cries for food between 6:00 and 6:30 in the morning. By that time, David is sleeping light enough for the sound to wake him. He then comes into our room, crawls on the bed, and spends the next hour trying to get to his baby sister. It's touching that he's so affectionate towards her, but I'm afraid I'm not at my most appreciative so early in the morning. I should start shutting our door to muffle the sound. I need solid sleep more than anything else right now. I think I will be ecstatic when Emily starts sleeping for ten-hour stretches.

I'm disgusted and disappointed as well. There doesn't really seem to be an appropriate place for me to vent my feelings, but I'm as full of resentment as I have ever been. Everything is so unbelieveable. I try not to think of myself. I try to close my mind to the scenarios that persist in coming. I try to stop the tears, but they seem to come unbidden. They're not sad tears. They don't want pity. They're hot, angry tears that want to inflict pain on someone deserving. I pride myself on keeping my writings free from bashing or name-calling. My journals are not the places for personal dramafests, but I have never wanted to publically call-out someone more in my life. That's probably an indication that I should stop. Why do these things ever happen? Why did I think I was beyond it?