Updates have been scarce because most of my typing is now one-handed. Spring has once again descended on Milledgeville, bringing a wave of pollen that has turned my silver car a sickening shade of yellow. Flowers have burst into bloom all over, and temperatures are already practicing for the arrival of summer. The warm months ahead hold some of my favorite memories. Coffee and music at the lake, long talks on bobbing docks, the thrill of new love, and a thousand happy moments as the sun sank below the horizon. That’s enough musing over the past. I’m primarily writing to address many of the questions I have been asked lately in regards to the present.
“Is Emily sleeping well?” Actually, we have been very fortunate so far. Emily is generally down for four hours or so beginning around midnight. She then wakes up to eat around four and again between six and seven. She’ll nap for an hour or so, which allows me to get David’s breakfast, tidy up, and throw myself together for the day. Anything after that point is a bit more unpredictable. Four and six AM wakeup calls might not sound ideal to most people, but it’s considerably better than what it could be.
“How does David like his sister?” Great. He loves giving “baby shister” kisses and patting her head when she cries. Her tiny fingers and toes fascinate him, and he laughs when she flails her limbs. His biggest problem seems to be with Mommy and Daddy. He has become rather contrary, which unfortunately irritates his sleep-deprived parents. It’s difficult trying to find a balance. David no longer has undivided attention, so of course the adjustment is going to be difficult. This means a degree of acting out, which is normal and expected. We have to maintain discipline, but try to make sure he doesn’t feel constantly reprimanded. After all, his little world has been turned upside down just as it leveled out again. I know that eventually both sides will even out and adjust to the changes. The most important thing is that David still feels loved. I never want him to feel neglected. He’s a great kid, and I know he will be a wonderful big brother.
“How is life?” I can’t complain too much. Perhaps there will always be little snafus to threaten my sanity, but for now, I’m choosing to push them away. At least I’m telling myself that. Although I don’t advise it for anything long-term, sometimes a little bit of denial is necessary. I just wish I were better at it. I think I still have some of that “nesting” energy built up. I enjoy scrupulously cleaning and organizing, although you wouldn’t think so if you saw my disheveled laundry area and storage closet. But hey, that’s what closets are for, right? July will arrive much sooner than expected and then I will no longer have the time or motivation to accomplish the “little things.” For this reason, I’m trying to think of things that I want to tackle before the move to Augusta. I want to start exercising, spending more time outside, and generally doing the things that make me happy. Planting flowers. Even if they’re only potted plants on my front porch. Writing. Even if it’s only letters instead of a novel. I feel like making time for myself at the end of the day will ultimately make me a better wife and mother. After David goes to bed, I settle down with the baby and a book. Propped up on the bed in the glow of the lamp, I listen to the evening through the open window. More often than not, a cup of hot chocolate is on my bedside table. Johnathan is within view on the computer, Emily is drifting to sleep in my arms, and David is already slumbering in the room next door. I have everything I need to make me happy.
"What are your plans now?" Very soon we will be searching for apartments and jobs in the Augusta area. I will begin my internship at the VA Hospital on July ninth, and Johnathan will work wherever work is available. We're hoping to work out something so that the kids don't have to be in daycare. Our lease here in Milledgeville ends on June thirty-first, but if we find something better in Augusta, we'll make the move earlier. I will be in my internship for six months and will finish the first week of January. I then have to pass the board certification test before seeking employment. I have no idea where life will take me from there. If I'm lucky, a job will be waiting, but there's no way to guess where or when an opportunity might present itself. We could end up pretty much anywhere. As soon as my internship is completed, Johnathan will go back to school.
Today was a very good day. My aunt and two cousins visited and watched the kids so that Johnathan and I could have lunch together. We ate New York style pizza on a little patio nestled under a tree and between alleyways. Birds chirping in alleys is the neatest sound...something about the way their song bounces off the walls... Frank Sinatra-style tunes drifted through the air, and for a brief spell, I forgot that I was in Milledgeville. It has been way too long since we carelessly sat a table for two. When I returned, we loaded cars and headed downtown for coffee and a stroll. Our little people were tired and hungry, however, so we didn't stay out long. I definitely enjoyed the visit. I always enjoy seeing my family, and I love that I'm so close to my aunt. I appreciate everything that she does for me and mine more than she knows. I feel much closer to many of my family members than I ever have before. I feel as though I'm really getting to know some of them for the first time. David has been in an amazingly good mood since waking up from his nap, and that makes me smile. Emily has been very easy to please this evening, which is the only thing that has allowed me to write this update. I'm in a very contented place, but I'm plagued by that pesky old feeling. It's a feeling that would sometimes steal over me...one of something uncertain...something big on the horizon...something hanging in the balance. Ah well. Sunshine has given way to clouds, but I hope the contendedness lasts through the evening. Mom is planning on visiting tomorrow and taking a trip to the arboretum, and my wonderful husband is taking me to Callaway Gardens on Saturday. Hoorah for adventures.
