"...when it rains and shines, it's just a state of mind"

I didn't get up as early as I had planned, but I was also awakened several times during the night (er...early morning). I had bizarre dreams. One involved an unlikely high school friend (guy) who was suddenly expecting a kid (well...HE wasn't, but you know what I mean). There was much celebration, but I found myself unable to congratulate him. I was so dumbfounded that I couldn't even speak. It was probably about that time (5 AM) that I was awakened by the first round of thunderstorms. I fell back asleep, only to dream of vacationing in a village where the roads resembled the chaos that surrounds Paris' Arch d'Triumph. I kept getting lost in the maze of roads, always missing the right turn. Heh. Suddenly I was where I needed to be, on a landscaped front lawn that was lush and green, surrounded by stately buildings (picture the Jekyll Island Club - if you've never been there, it's where the Rockefellers, Vanderbilts, etc. used to vacation...now a historical landmark). Weirdness. Then I was awakened (around 6) by another round of storms. I could hear the wind and rain roaring, so I looked out the window in time to see a sheet of water splash against the pane. Hail began dancing off the overhang, lightning flashed, and I crawled back into my warm bed. If I had been in any other building (including my own home), I would have been freaked out beyond reason, but there is something about this place that makes you feel safe. I think it has to do with being sandwiched between levels. We can't really tell the ferocity of storms unless they decide to lash at the window. Even thunder is somewhat muffled by the brick walls. Anyone who lived (or lives) in Parkhurst, Adams, Foundation, or Wells last year knows that this certainly is not true of the new dorms. The walls are paper thin (seemingly even on the outside), and it feels as if the building might topple at the slightest breeze. I'm glad they kept the outer walls of Sanford. I definitely feel safe here...even if it's a false sense of security. Have a wonderful rainy day. I'm not looking forward to sloshing to class.

"...we'll get there - this I swear"

Last night was the GC&SU Concert Band's Spring Concert. It went very well. I have heard nothing but praise for the group's performance. Thanks to everyone who came out and supported us. The evening started off with a surprise present from my wonderful big sister, Tammy. She knows that things have been kind of rocky lately, and I think she just wanted to make me happy. Speaking of being happy...I have received three gifts within the past week that contain Reese's. I love Reese's, so this is good, but oh so bad at the same time. Haha. I digress. I later went out to dinner with my parents, which is always enjoyable. I really appreciate my parents being there because they both have a lot going on right now. I know it's sometimes difficult, but no matter what, they are always incredibly supportive of my activities. After dinner, I came back to Sanford and watched some TV with the girls before stepping outside to enjoy the evening. Cool, spring evenings are so clean and refreshing.

I opted not to go to the MT Conference in Charleston because I want to be closer to home in case anything happens. I love Charleston, but there will be plenty of opportunities to go back. It might be better to get a break in anyway. The next month is going to be a flurry of activity. I think there is an event every weekend in the month of April. Wow. May will be devoted to auditions, finals, and working. I'm going to try to find a job when I'm back down here in June (summer classes), but just in case I can't, I want to save up as much money as possible while home for a month.

Sooo sleepy. I just watched the series finale of "Newly Weds." It was rather anti-climactic, but that's okay. Hehe. I was never a devoted fan, but it's one of those "pick-me-up" shows. Now I'm listening to the pleasant chatter of friends and reveling in the fact that I don't have class tomorrow until 2:00. The plan is to get up early and tackle the day's work. We'll see if that happens. Goodnight.

Happy Easter

"In my eyes, you do no wrong"

A year ago today was the first day back from an incredibly draining trip to Disney World. I still haven't finished the book I started reading on the trip (it's a thick biography of George Harrison that I still read on and off), and I have never again worn the too-expensive shoes that rubbed horrible blisters on my feet (I only bought them the day before). Mostly, I remember it as a physically draining, sun screen smearing, hot day/frigid night, chaotic mess. But there are those seemingly insignificant moments that I will remember for the rest of my life. I didn't think it was so spectacular at the time, but a part of me would give quite a lot to go back to the way things were...just for a little while.

I'm finding that I have become increasingly memory-oriented. I suppose it has always been that way, but more and more, sights, sounds, and scents are triggering things that take me back to specific times and feelings. Certain birds chirping make me feel six years old, standing in the long black driveway of Nanny and Daddy-Al's. Many moments take me back to that place, and I'm never sure why. A warm breeze blowing across my face will trigger moments with friends and family...different places, different times, but all having one thing in common: happiness. I feel like I'm grasping vainly at broken fragments of my life. Everything seems such a mess, but yet when I'm walking down the street on a perfect, sunny day, I can only think of these happy memories. It doesn't matter what is going on...the moment I step into the sunshine, everything seems to slip away. I'm thankful for this retreat, but at the same time, I feel that it is only a false sense that aids my "I'll worry about it tomorrow" mentality. Oh well. Lovely day.

I went to Marshall's recital tonight (which was awesome) and then to "Hendley Orchestra" rehearsal. It was a good night for the GC&SU music world. Rehearsal ran late, so I'm still pretty wired. There are so many things running through my head...things I want to do...things I need to do. Laundry is piling higher and higher, but I lack the motivation, quarters (forgot to replenish my stash over break), and detergent to actually take action. Hehe. There are minutes to type, music to practice, auditions to prepare for, and papers to write. But all I really want to do is to curl up under the warm glow of my lamp, watch Golden Girls (or something equally jovial), and read either "Fellowship of the Ring", "Wit", or "George Harrison" (inspired by the first paragraph I typed). I love lazy Thursdays; they signal the beginning of a deceptively idle weekend (deceptive because it fools me into thinking that I have a reprieve from obligations - hehe). ::strech:: Maybe I'll just fall asleep instead.

"...doesn't really matter if you're on the run"

My daily outlook always seems to be determined by the walk (or scramble) to my first class. I rolled out of bed after hitting the snooze button one too many times, but still managed to make it to class on time (and surprisingly more collected than usual). A light rain had fallen early this morning, but the sun was already breaking through the clouds and drying the ground in places. Everything smelled, sounded, and felt so incredibly nice and springy. 60 degree temperatures make everything seem so clean and new. Thankfully, it is going to be like this for at least the next week and a half.

I don't think I can count on my schedule to be as perfect. Everything over the course of the next few weeks seems so hectic. I should probably take lessons from Amy and write out every last detail. So much to do, so little time. If nothing else is determined, at least I know that I have a place to live next year. I will definitely be living with Jessica, which promises to be lots of fun. I'm glad for the opportunity to get to know one of my sisters better, and I'm incredibly excited to finally have a place of my own. Decorating and getting things settled is going to be fun.

I can't believe that there are only six or so weeks of classes left. It seems like just yesterday that I was packing my car for LAST summer. Hmm. Anyway. I'm contemplating taking classes here over the break. Nothing beats Middle Georgia summers. Hehe. Ahhh, the humidity. Since my degree requires 4.5 years for completion, I might as well get as much out of the way as possible.

Okay - time to work.

"And the rain keeps on coming down..."

Ah, home. Today was quite possibly one of the longest drives that I have ever known. It seemed as if I would never reach the end. I was watching TNT and wishing in vain that my diseased laptop would resume operation when I remembered that I forgot to get my cell out of the car. I made my way out the front door to be greeted by the scent of approaching rain. I stopped in the driveway to observe the stars above and lightning flashes to the north. Somewhere in the distance was a frog singing and all manner of insects were chirping their night song. It was quite nice and homey feeling. I realized that I had grown used to the wonder of nighttime being shattered by the glare of neon lights.

Clouds have now covered the stars. I'm listening to the rumble of thunder and an angry assault of rain against the window panes. The lights are flickering, so I suppose I should end this post soon. What started out as a pleasant little storm is growing increasingly menacing. I love falling asleep during thunderstorms, but I don't think this one is going to allow sleep anytime soon...

"Looking out for another, anyone will do..."

Good weekend.

Friday night started off with pizza at Erin's and "Down with Love", followed by the always-enjoyable GC&SU jazz band. It seems that there are various groups of people who attend such events, all seeking something different...or fulfilling different roles. Being the first night of Spring Break, the crowd was composed mostly of older community members and faculty. These individuals are staunch supporters of the jazz program because for the span of an hour and a half, they are transported to a former time and place. Large music events also serve as a sort of reunion, ushering in a small handful of former students who stick out in the crowd and bring cheerful memories with them. I suppose that these individuals are also transported to a former time and place, but on a very different level, seeking communion with old friends. The final group is composed of current students. I love seeing these people (especially those involved with the music department) because there is an invisible tie of common interest that binds us...no matter how brief. They come to support and enjoy, giving very little thought to the fact that all too soon, they will be filling the previously mentioned slots. After the concert, Kristin and I came back to an empty dorm hall and proceeded to sing every song we knew...well...almost. Hehe. There was surprisingly little on late-night-TV for a Friday, but the snippets of Conan that I remember were rather entertaining.

I had made plans with Meghan very early in the week to go to "Little Tokyo" (third attempt) for lunch today, merely to find that they are only open for dinner on Saturdays. Soooo, she, Kelli, and I revised our plan and went to the "Goodie Gallery" instead. It is always great getting to know people better, and I really enjoyed having some girl time. I'm going to be in musical mode for weeks now, and I'm searching for "Songs for a New World" and "Wicked" as I type. I later met Daniel and explored Rose Hill in Macon. I never realized how large it is, and I think it will be very cool to go back sometime...I'll have to remember my camera. The night was rounded out with lots of music and just general down time. Hershey Bar Pie is very gooood. Yawn. So sleepy. I think I'm going to watch "Garden State" with Kristin and then fall asleep. I'm thinking of going home tomorrow and then coming back down for a day in the middle of the week for a lunch date with Tammy. The end.

"Blow Away, Blow Away, Blow Away..."

What a weekend. Friday night kicked off with a trip to Atlanta's Shakespeare's Tavern for their version of "Hamlet." The play was very good, the food was pretty good, and the friends were fabulous. There is something about visiting the city that makes me feel so alive. I like to imagine the streets as they were when my grandparents were living there. There was even enough difference between now and then for me to imagine what it was like for my Dad (who lived off of Howell Mill until he was twelve). In the intoxicating lure of the city, however, I never quite let myself forget where I am. I just try to stay very aware. Fortunately we only had one little mishap with an individual who was walking down the street. An elderly Black man felt the need to inform me that he was quite capable of having his way (in no uncertain terms) with all four of us. My initial thought was "if you touch me...", and the second thought was "he probably wanted a reaction more than anything else, but I admire his self-confidence." ;-) Hehe. Overall, good times.



This morning was a splendid morning for Spring Fest. We set up the tables from 11:00-1:00, but we had so many sisters at the table that half of us ended up standing a few feet behind in conversation (or running for food). I felt badly that we didn't really contribute anything other than our presence. I took Tammy back to her house, met her family, and then met the goats. Haha. Storm clouds started rolling in and the wind picked up, so I made my way back to Sanford for a nap. I woke up to find that the clouds had blown through and that the sun was back in full force...such a beautiful, warm day. A group is going out for dinner tonight, but I'm not sure I want to go. I'm feeling rather reclusive. After such a hectic twenty-four hours, I'm contemplating just packing it in for the night. A good movie or book and something cheap from Loco's might just do the trick. :)

I meant to update today, but had to get in on the forum's Ten Commandments discussion instead. Oh well...that will have to suffice. Here's a copy (warning: it's very long). Love ya!

Some try to argue that the Ten Commandments are merely ethical standards that are observed by most countries. The last six (honor thy father and mother, do not steal, do not kill, do not covet, do not commit adultery, and do not lie) are all ethical standards that are encouraged by many U.S. laws. The first four commandments, however, are strictly religious (one God before thee, no graven images, observe the Sabbath, and do not take God's name in vain). While the government can endorse the last six, it is required to remain neutral concerning the first four.

I do not feel that it can be argued that the Ten Commandments should be allowed to be displayed as a historical document UNLESS you are willing to display similar documents from different cultures in the same setting.

I am a Christian, so it doesn't bother me to see the Commandments displayed...in fact I have always found it rather comforting, but I DO see the other side of the issue. I think that it is understandable to say that it should not be displayed in the courts because that is a branch of government. I think the problem comes in when you try to carry it even further (and they will). I see no problem with displaying the TC in a museum as a piece of heritage, observing the Judeo-Christian norms of the western world (after all, most museums contain artifacts from many cultures, and those beautiful granite tablets should be displayed somewhere - hehe). I'm fine accepting that they shouldn't be allowed on government property, but what happens when their appearance on ANY public property is challenged? I think the latter will eventually come down to the states to decide how much they are going to regulate (or restrict) the display of religious documents. THAT'S when I will have a problem.

Individuals are still allowed to display the Ten Commandments in their front yards as much as they want. Anyone is free to express any religious opinion as long as it is on their property...not the government's. Until my individual rights of expression are threatened, I probably won't be overly concerned. To tell the truth, it makes me kind of sick that people are capitalizing on this by selling those yard signs like hot cakes. "Ten Commandments yard signs are now available at a new low price!" Ugh. I dunno...maybe a church can sell them as a fundraiser or something...that would be better. Hehe.

A similar situation that I was annoyed by was the one involving "under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance. I think that one reeeeaaaally has to be stretched to be viewed as the nation imposing religion. After all, no one can be required to recite the Pledge. It just seemed a bit more ridiculous. (Just a little side note: the phrase "under God was actually added in 1954 during the Cold War against "Godless Communism") The word "God" is mentioned four times in the "Declaration of Independence" and once in the Articles of Confederation.

President's still utter "so help me God" at inauguration, and the same phrase is used to swear in individuals in court. Very few seem to feel that these expressions violate the Constitution, but I suppose that is only a matter of time. ::sigh:: Reknowned atheist Madelyn Murray O'Hare (sp?) admitted to wanting to completely wipe all references to God from society. That kind of thing is worrisome because the more you give, the more people are going to take.

Anyway! I would love to see the Ten Commandments stay, but I realize that it can be
considered a violation of the Constitution (although the phrase "separation of church and state isn't actually IN the Constitution - heh - not freedom FROM, but freedom OF...but that's a totally different story), and therefore do not expect them to be allowed to remain in the courts. Wow. Long post. Sorry bout that. If only I could muster the same enthusiasm for academic posts...