"Sleep is a reconciling...a rest that peace begets..."

These things are so interesting (referring to lj, blogs, etc.). They're like windows into your soul. Heh. My favorites are the ones that span a couple of years. It's so fascinating to see the changes that take place in such a relatively short amount of time. I have current friends who were not even acquaintances when they first starting blogging, so it's weird. When I read their entries from "before my time", it's like I'm prying into the life of/getting to know a complete stranger. The person I currently know and the person they were suddenly become two separate things. It's such an odd feeling...I can't even begin to describe it. There's something almost forbidding about it...something that wants to remain untouched. Or maybe it's just the spirit of the day catching up with me already...

The whole "my computer is smart enough to remember 'fall back', but I'M not" really threw me for a loop. I think I should just go to bed.

"Sounds of laughter shades of earth..."

I just returned from watching Thelonius at Amici's. I loved it. :) According to their website, they play again next weekend. ::shrugs:: If so, I might be able to recruit more people into going. ::big grin:: A couple of my best friends in particular really need to hear them.

Earlier in the day, I ventured to Carmike (blah) to see "Ray". It was well worth it - very good movie. The best part was (of course) the soundtrack, which I purchased on the way home. I think that's all I have to say now. Goodnight. :)

"Love is a Battlefield..."

Adagio for Strings has me in the mellowest of moods. Has anyone ever seen "Platoon"? There is a REALLY stirring scene where this piece is playing (for those of you who don't know, it's a Vietnam movie, so it's pretty moving in itself...). Anyway - I see that particular scene everytime I listen to it. I love it. ::chills:: I have so much new music this week! I'm so excited! I have accumulated enough (since the beginning of summer) to create five new CDs.

The first one is mostly classical. It has Arias, Beethoven, Appalachian Journey, and some band and choral pieces.

The second one is a lot of recent stuff. Finger Eleven, Coldplay, Alanis Morissette, Copeland, No Doubt, Live, Collective Soul, and ::gasp:: the two Britney Spears songs that I actually like! Hehe.

The third is easy listening. "What a Wonderful World", "As Time Goes By", Sarah McLachlan, "Fields of Gold", some more classical stuff, and a little Jackson 5.

The fourth is older rock. Blood Sweat and Tear, Boston, Chicago, Springsteen, a little Pat Benatar, U2, "Rio", "Here Comes the Rain Again", "Every Rose Has it's Thorn", etc.

The last is simply the "Vanity Fair Soundtrack".

I need to get a new CD case. The one I have holds 98, I believe, and I've been stacking discs on top of each other for a year. That's really sad. I love my music, but I'm disgusted by the amount of money I have spent over the years. Granted, a good handful of my CDs were burned, but it's still a CRAZY sum to spend on entertainment. ...especially when some people can barely afford food. ::feels bad now:: :(

Anywho. I'm going to help the history club with their cemetary tour tonight. That should be fun. When I get back, I plan on watching a movie or something...just chilling. Thelonius is playing at Amici's tomorrow night, and I really want to go see them. I'm also thinking of going to see "Ray" during the day tomorrow. Ahh...but we can't forget the ADCH project that is looming ever closer. ::hums Jaws theme:: I'm not really sure why I'm rambling so much.

This entry has absolutely NO purpose...

"And when she shines she really shows you all she can..."

If it's going to be cloudy all day, it could at least have the decency to rain. Heh. My mood can tolerate rain better than clouds with no purpose. Yes, I know...everything has a purpose, but that's not the point I'm trying to make. The point is: I'm in the most bizarre mood today, and I can only blame it on the weather.

I'm ill-humored because I can't seem to be happy today. Hehe. This really irritates me because I have no reason to feel this way. I don't like not having plans for the weekend, but it's my own fault. There are at least two events on Friday night, but I can't seem to motivate myself for either. How weird is that? It's like I subconsciously want to be unhappy! ::scowls:: I should really try to fix this before it ruins the whole weekend. I'm alone Friday and Saturday. Who wants to come to Milledgeville to entertain me? ::mock excitement::

I need to get out of Milledgeville for a little while, but...yeah...that's not gonna happen. Where are you going to go, Brittany? Things will be better as soon as the sun comes out again...as soon as I finish my work...as soon as I take a nap...and as soon as I stop listening to Annie Lennox. I love Annie Lennox, but her music does weird things to my frame of mind. I'm really not in a bad mood, I swear...it's just weird. I feel alone, but crowded...like dancing, but more like crying...mostly I just want to smile...for real. ::yawn::

I'm already feeling better, so I'll definitely be okay by the time I talk to people again...I promise... :)

"I want to walk in the open wind..."

I first discovered the following passage upon seeing "Sense and Sensibility" about seven (or so) years ago. I ran across it again tonight and felt compelled to post.

...Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.

O no, it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken...

- William Shakespeare

Perhaps it is the drama of the scene (Marianne standing in the pouring rain, quoting the sonnet as she gazes brokenly towards Willoughby's mansion...), but for whatever reason...it just gets me...

"Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudel..."

It's a sad day...my pumpkin is no longer. ::sniff::

On a happier note, I think I might have to take advantage of the splendid day.

"Star shining bright above you..."

It's only 7:15, but the moon is shining in my window with as much persistence as if it were the dead of night. If the gorgeous sunset and clear skies were any indication, it should be a beautiful evening. For the day to have started off so dismal (weather wise), it actually ended pretty well. I was walking along the streets of Milledgeville earlier, admiring the fiery sunset and rosey horizon, surrounded by light mist and singing birds. Surely such moments are little glimpses of heaven.

I suppose I should come back to earth now and consider what lies in the week ahead. I hate when I have a certain amount of work to accomplish within a given time frame, but nothing pressing. I remain completely unmotivated until I have to do something. Procrastination: It's a rough job, but someone has to do it. Hehe. Oh. ::glances at closet:: An excellent example is my laundry. I can make it for EXACTLY two more days. Will I do laundry tonight? No. Tomorrow night? Probably not. Ahh, but I will have to do it Tuesday night. Problem solved.

I went home on Saturday to watch the FOC exhibition show. Very good. :) We (K, J, E, and myself) even conned a few hall mates into accompanying us. Good times.

This weekend I learned: I am in love with Erin's $90 hair straightener (it kept my hair VERY straight even in humid weather!), Lynn is one of my favorite people, I'm old (I barely recognized anyone at the competition), and I really need to incorporate more Juliana Theory, Snow Patrol, and Sensefield into my life. Hehe.

Some things never seem to change, but some certainly do. It was interesting to see the differences and similarities when talking to old friends and rambling familiar footpaths. I am always fascinated by the transition from past to present.

New Pictures!!!

Jana, Me, and Sarah before our "adventures" in Macon!




Girls down the hall in Sanford




Kristin before her GEM interview




Me and Jessica attempting to look serious


...and failing miserably




Girls at the Sigma Alpha Iota craft night (Keller, Jessica, Meghan, and Erin)

I had some pictures of the inside of Sanford, but they didn't make it onto my CD. ::pouts:: But no fear - they will be posted in the near future. :)

"Everything's alright, yes, everything's fine..."

I'm scared. I feel so much. That in itself is what terrifies me most. Life is livable without, but the fire is gone. I become just a shell of my former self. If I'm speaking gibberish, dear reader, I apologize. Don't worry about my mental state; I assure you I am quite sound in mind (for the moment - hehe). Happiness...hold on to that happiness...

I had a revelation while walking through the rain last night. Thanks to a dear friend (you're awesome, girl), I now realize the significance. Her words have followed me throughout the day, serving as a response to my lapse in faith.

Trust. Look to God. He knows. "It's just a moment...this too shall pass..." I'm waiting for the sun to come back out after the storm passes. I'm thinking of/praying for everyone.

Punkins

"And when the night is new..."

Thursday. It's almost impossible for me accomplish anything on a Thursday. I dive into that "Friday" mentality twenty-four hours ahead of schedule. Ah well. I'm kind of looking forward to going home tomorrow. It has been three weeks. I can't leave Milledgeville until 3:30ish, which means it'll take an extra thirty minutes to get home. ::heavy sigh::

Weekends are usually pretty lazy around the house. Sometimes they feel frantic, but I think it's just me. I'm so used to running all the time; when I finally stop, my mind keeps racing in a thousand different directions, and I'm never sure what to do with myself. I'll get to see the house my parents are considering. Maybe I'll even have time to visit my favorite coffee shop. But most of all, I'm looking forward to falling asleep in my room. Have I ever described my room to you? It was literally years in the making - both mentally AND physically. It's light blue (but not bright) with white trim and white furniture, decorated with classic black and white photos of NYC, London, and Paris. My accents are burgundy. I stuck with the red, white, and blue theme because it is the flag color for all three countries represented. Anyway. It's so calm and cool...and the pictures are so timeless...I love it.

Sorry. Random. I've been stuck in classic mode lately. Black and white pictures, old movies, the sultry sounds of jazz flowing out of smokey lounges and onto the rain-slicked streets. Ahh. On that note, goodnight.

Feels like I'm stuck in a timeless dream

I had more to say about this weekend, but instead of creating a new post, I'm just ammending/adding to this one!

Wow. What a week. What a weekend (and it's not even over). I can't really explain how I feel.

"Feels like I'm standing in a timeless dream
Of light mists, of pale amber rose..."

Yeah. Something like that.


Friday night was spent hanging out with "ma Jessica" and watching "The Passion of the Christ". Amazingly enough, I had not seen it. It was very moving. It really made me stop and think. I had absolutely nothing to say for a few minutes afterwards.

The Breast Cancer Awareness Musicale went really well. I was so proud of the girls. They all did so well. It was great spending time with the sisters. I met a lot of new people (including four-month old David) and was able to catch up with some old ones. Nothing beats late-night conversations.

Tonight, I got to see Matt and Lisa for the first time since last year. They are such a blessing to be around. I had so much fun talking to them.

There was a lot of physical and emotional strain, but it's one of the best weekends I have had in a while. Lots of quality time.

This probably seems odd, but I think I can see God working in and through things. I'm not sure where He's going to take me, but I'm along for the ride, and I'll do my best to trust Him.

As always, I love you all and hope you have a terrific week!

"I drive myself crazy..."

I hate fighting with people. It sucks. Most disagreements, misunderstandings, etc. could be completely avoided. There is usually no reason for them to have occurred. But they do occur. And even when everything is said and done...even when everyone has said their peace, I still have that icky messed up feeling.

I always want things to be "normal" the instant a problem is resolved. I know everything is going to be fine, but I always get that melodramatic "things won't be the same" bit going. Of course things won't be the same. That's because you'll take what you've learned, build on it, and create something even better.

::resumes somber countenance::

I guess I'm just trying to say that I'm sorry it happened at all. Grrr. I still don't understand, but I'm incapable of unresolved issues. It had to be fixed because otherwise, it would have driven me nuts. I'll ask questions later.

It's 1:30 AM. I haven't even started studying for vocal methods. Can you say "fail"? Sure, I knew you could.

"Bitten By A Bed Bug!"

It's 2:oo AM, Sunday, October 3rd. I was recently roused from sleep by the frantic screaming of my suite-mate, Kristin. I couldn't tell whether it was hysterical laughter or something worse, so I wearily trekked through the bathroom to find Sam, Rachel, and Katherine diligently searching for a giant roach/Palmetto Bug (I prefer the latter because it's more "user friendly").

I suppose I should give you a little bit of background on Kristin. She's terrified of bugs. No no, not scared...not even very scared...terrified. The mere glimpse of an insect sends her into real panic. In other words, it wasn't just show. Sam proceeded to catch the unlucky creepy crawler and sent him to a watery grave. But Kristin still refuses to sleep in her room until she has a chance to clean it from top to bottom. It is fortuitous that Erin is out of town this weekend. I suppose she will set up camp in here for the night. I promised her we could fall back asleep to a happy movie.

"Half of what I say is meaningless..."

I don't know if anyone noticed, but my titles are almost always phrases from songs. I just thought I would mention that because some of them are kind of random (or less than intelligent).

It has been entirely too long since I've updated this thing. I really don't have much to say. This has been one of the most bizarre weeks I have had in a very long time. I can't seem to get things straight, but somehow I don't care. The days just seemed to crawl by. Everything seems to be happening in slow motion. Even now, I'm typing in slow motion (stop looking at me that way - you're just jealous because it's me and not you). I just need some undisturbed sleep and good food (not just some complex carbohydrate I find lying around and label a "meal" - heh).

I was able to do a lot of catching up with people this week, which was nice. Two friends I hadn't heard from since the beginning of summer have now re-entered my life. That's such a good feeling. I also spent time catching up with a few other friends, taking trips to Macon, and decorating pillow cases.

 "A soup bowl is a state of mind."

But there were a lot of not good things, too. My poor Daddy hasn't had a very good week at all. His defib. went off, which means that, if it hadn't been for the device, he probably would have had another heart attack (and the doctors have said he cannot withstand another one). I know God is ultimately in control, but it's still scary. It really made me stop and think about what he means to me and how I want to be the best daughter that I can be. It shouldn't take a life-altering event before we see how much people really mean to us, but too often it does. My family is making a lot of decisions now, and I know it's hard. Please keep mes parents in your thoughts and prayers.

My own trials seem pale in comparison, but I'm out of clean clothes, dreading studying for mid-terms (starting Monday), behind on Practica Musica, putting off guitar practice, and wondering about living arrangements for next year. I feel like I should feel a greater sense of urgency, but I had a wonderful evening at the SAI craft night, I have a roof over my head, and a place to sleep. Power of positive thinking.

YAWN. That's my cue. Goodnight, world.